Wonderful storytelling! The usage of the clickable phrases, especially the ones that cycle, really help capture the feelings they represented. As a bisexual man myself, it was validating to read through a fellow bi's experience. Finding yourself in video games hit true for me, too! It's also really nice to see your story ended happily. I'm glad you found such a loving, similar soul to spend your life with. :)
The cycle “never know what secrets” is a great show-don’t-tell example to immediately get the concept across. Most IF players instantly understand the click cycle, but for players new to the genre it's not intuitive. In my last game, a YouTuber didn't understand the concept at first. You do a great job here of leading the player to click it and then showing what happens
Game formats well on mobile. Only issue I'm seeing is pics being cut off on the right side
Countdown backwards in years is effective
Effective font switch to convey old school gaming at the Zdlelda part
Nice music here - is there music earlier in the game that didn't play (potential bug?). Edit: ah, I see, it's music for each game! Clever.
Nice text effect on “I froze” - I like how the shake is at odds with the action described, succinctly demonstrates the conflict you were going through. Consider a line break afterwards and maybe centering the line for higher visual impact.
Lol at the heterosexual sims file
“And then Eric came out” - effective to have just this text on this page.
I didn't feel like playing anything - great subversion of the pattern you've established.
The Mass Effect page drives home the importance of bisexual representation and sharing stories from a bisexual point of view…which is exactly what you've done with this story!
Page with “cinema’s concession stand” is missing line breaks between paragraphs
Dragon Age music doesn't play until the page afterwards. Intended?
References page has a formatting error in the link for typewriter effect
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I really enjoyed this. Thanks for baring so much of your own story - representation is important and I saw so much of myself in this story! I even teared up a bit. I like the framing of using video games and the formatting swaps were effective to reinforce that storytelling binary. The writing is clean, approachable and has some beautiful moments of description and humor. Awesome work!
Thanks so much for your feedback! I'll have a look into the bugs and formatting suggestions. The Dragon Age music should play on both the game page and the narrative page afterwards- a bridging of my worlds. I'm certainly more of a writer than a programmer so I'm glad most is working as intended :).
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Wonderful storytelling! The usage of the clickable phrases, especially the ones that cycle, really help capture the feelings they represented. As a bisexual man myself, it was validating to read through a fellow bi's experience. Finding yourself in video games hit true for me, too! It's also really nice to see your story ended happily. I'm glad you found such a loving, similar soul to spend your life with. :)
Thank you so much for the kind words! It is much appreciated :)
Notes from gameplay:
Nice intro section with how-to and definitions.
The cycle “never know what secrets” is a great show-don’t-tell example to immediately get the concept across. Most IF players instantly understand the click cycle, but for players new to the genre it's not intuitive. In my last game, a YouTuber didn't understand the concept at first. You do a great job here of leading the player to click it and then showing what happens
Game formats well on mobile. Only issue I'm seeing is pics being cut off on the right side
Countdown backwards in years is effective
Effective font switch to convey old school gaming at the Zdlelda part
Nice music here - is there music earlier in the game that didn't play (potential bug?). Edit: ah, I see, it's music for each game! Clever.
Nice text effect on “I froze” - I like how the shake is at odds with the action described, succinctly demonstrates the conflict you were going through. Consider a line break afterwards and maybe centering the line for higher visual impact.
Lol at the heterosexual sims file
“And then Eric came out” - effective to have just this text on this page.
I didn't feel like playing anything - great subversion of the pattern you've established.
The Mass Effect page drives home the importance of bisexual representation and sharing stories from a bisexual point of view…which is exactly what you've done with this story!
Page with “cinema’s concession stand” is missing line breaks between paragraphs
Dragon Age music doesn't play until the page afterwards. Intended?
References page has a formatting error in the link for typewriter effect
----
I really enjoyed this. Thanks for baring so much of your own story - representation is important and I saw so much of myself in this story! I even teared up a bit. I like the framing of using video games and the formatting swaps were effective to reinforce that storytelling binary. The writing is clean, approachable and has some beautiful moments of description and humor. Awesome work!
Thanks so much for your feedback! I'll have a look into the bugs and formatting suggestions. The Dragon Age music should play on both the game page and the narrative page afterwards- a bridging of my worlds. I'm certainly more of a writer than a programmer so I'm glad most is working as intended :).